David James Ross’ Arty Bollocks Generator instantly creates artist’s statements full of the opaque jargon you’ll find in art schools and contemporary galleries. This random generator of artists statements really made me laugh. Some of them sound, honestly, more interesting than a lot of the contemporary art I’ve seen, but that’s often the problem: they sound good, but the work itself is uninspired or poorly done.

Here’s my favorite:

Artist Statement

My work explores the relationship between gender politics and vegetarian ethics.

With influences as diverse as Blake and Andy Warhol, new variations are distilled from both opaque and transparent dialogues.

Ever since I was a child I have been fascinated by the essential unreality of relationships. What starts out as yearning soon becomes corroded into a manifesto of distress, leaving only a sense of undefined and the prospect of a new beginning.

As spatial derivatives become distorted through emergent and personal practice, the viewer is left with a statement of the limits of our future.

Generate your own Arty Bollocks here!